If you haven’t watched The Witcher yet, stop reading now, go open up your Netflix account, and get to binging. Ok, now that you’ve watched season one, let’s talk about who absolutely slew season one. I haven’t seen too many of these yet so I thought I’d go ahead and give out my power rankings. But before we get into those, I’d like to take some time to acknowledge the weakest links, or “Mega Losers” as I have dubbed them, from season one. Let’s jump right in, shall we?
Mega Losers of The Witcher
This guy managed to not only get killed by a changeling but also almost got Princess Cirila murdered by allowing the changeling to commandeer his mind and body. Plus just an all-time worst name, even if Andrzej Sapkowski did derive it from some cool backstory that I don’t know about.
The sole fact that they’re used for spells that result in an instant death easily place them into the mega loser list.
The Brotherhood of Mages
Where do I even begin here? It seems as if the entire organization goes downhill after Yennefer vanishes from their grasp. Then they begin to allow non-magical students into their school for funding. They suffer a MASSIVE loss of magi during the Battle of Sodden Hill. And to top it all off, one of their most respected and powerful mages, Vilgefortz, begins his reign of betrayal at the very end of the season.
Whoever plays Vesemir
Personally, I’m all in on the Mark Hamill as Vesemir train, but whoever ends up playing the role of Geralt’s friend and teacher will probably take a pretty large L. There will be loads of people who argue that another famous actor would have played the part better, and this person will probably never be good enough for the Witcher fans (unless it’s Mark Hamill).
Sir Eyck of Denesle
Death while pooping… Nuff said.
The Witcher’s Power Players
Come on. How could our lute-playing bard not make this list? He gave us a handful of bops, including one Toss a Coin to your Witcher, and warmed our hearts aplenty. Plus his wit and humor lit up our screens almost every single episode!
Lord Urcheon of Erlenwald, AKA Duny
Started from the bottom now he’s here. This guy was cursed as a child and forced to look like a hedgehog for the majority of his life. He then saves the king (badass), is granted The Law of Surprise for a child, and then falls in love with said child. He then gets defended by Geralt AND Eist Tuirseach (the future King of Cintra) before being granted Pavetta’s hand in marriage and having his hedgehog curse lifted. In the end, he dies in an unfortunate sinking of his ship, but you can’t tell me the middle to later part of his life wasn’t an absolute blast.
From hunchbacked girl to powerful sorceress, Yen’s transformation was downright spectacular. Sure she can be a handful, but her ascension to power clearly shows how much of a power player she really is.
All Eight Intro Scenes
I think this goes without saying, but these were absolute perfection and deserve every right to be the #1 power player for this first season.
The Witcher Franchise
Both Andrzej Sapkowski and CD Projekt Red must be ecstatic about how well Netflix’s The Witcher performed. The Witcher III: Wild Hunt ha shit record streaming and downloads since the first season came to an end, and the book shave made quite the resurgence as well. In fact, it’s doing so well that there has been a reprint issued for the books. We can expect to see roughly half a million books to restock shelves over the next few months.
Fringilla & Cahir
I may get some flak for these two, but you cannot argue that they did not cement themselves into quite the spot for season two. Fringilla is probably the second or third strongest mage at this point in time and Cahir is a swordsman unlike any other. These two will probably wreak just as much havoc in season two as they did in season one. Even though they are villains, they still played the game well in season one.
Once again, this is a pretty obvious one. The key reason for me our Witcher falls into the power player list though is because he stuck with it and found Cirilla even after everything he had been through. “Those linked by destiny will always find one another.”